Friendships through the decades

Sunday Blog 93 – 16th July 2023

To quote myself, (because frankly, no-one else is)

Sometimes I think that all the wisdom of life is contained in E.M. Forster’s novel Howards End, which tackles money, death, friendship and class (among other things).

Sunday Blog 37, 22 May 2022

What I loved about the way friendship was tackled in Howards End was the friendship between Margaret Schlegel and Mrs Willcox is central to the plot-more central than the romantic relationship.

We under-rate friendships in our society, in my humble opinion. Romantic relationships are top of the tree, and family relationships are also prioritised. But friendships can be every bit as important and even painful as any other type of relationship. They are also so wonderfully light and free because they are relationships of choice rather than obligation.

Lately I have been so lucky to re-connect with friends I made as a teenager. Friends I made when I looked like this:

And in a few short years like this:

There is such pleasure in re-connecting with someone who remembers you from your formative years. And as my formative years are several decades ago, there are rich, iterative conversations zigging and zagging across time to fill in the details.

Forgotten photos are returned to you, and conversations and opinions re-hashed which must surely have been uttered by another human being. Have I changed that much?

Yes, to finish with Joan Didion’s wise quote “I’ve lost touch with several people I used to be.”

Hurrah to friendships that can knit together our different selves across time.

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